Simple Understanding
by Cutieqtpie
Summary: Gamma helps Carter sort out his feelings...
1. Default Chapter

This is a continuation of what happens in "Quo Vadis", so if you haven't seen the episode, I don't suggest you read the story. This song is "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch, who's CD I just got today and was playing it and heard this song and realized it was a perfect Carby. You should definitely download the song if you want a good song to listen to. Thanks to Allie who offers tremendous support all the time no matter how bitchy I'm being. Additional thanks to Jen who also offers support and encouragement whenever I need it.  
  
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Abby had had a really stressful day. Fifteen minutes before her shift ended, she decided to take a short break to the roof for a quick cigarette before going home. Since the roof was almost always empty, she always went up there when she was stressed and wanted to get away from the chaos in the ER.  
  
As she opened the door to step onto the roof, she noticed two people were already occupying the area. She was about to turn around to leave them alone, but one of the people caught her eye. As she saw him lean down to kiss the woman, she backed out of the doorway, embarrassed and mortified at the same time. She ran down the stairs quickly, still ashamed of what she had witnessed. Almost not wanting to believe it, she held back the tears that were starting to form. She couldn't let anyone know what she had seen.  
  
Why had Carter been kissing Susan? He had told Abby that she had too much baggage and she was too attached to Luka. She had heard a rumor that Mark and Susan had been an item before she left for Phoenix. Wasn't that baggage too? Was she actually jealous? God, why was she acting like this. It was natural for two people to kiss. It was just strange to see Carter kissing someone else. Well Luka had moved on from her, shouldn't Carter move on also? But John was different. It wasn't a past relationship to just get over. It was the thoughts of what might have been or could have been. All these thoughts ran through her head as she gathered her belongings out of her locker and prepared to go home.  
  
As she reached to open the door to the lounge to leave, it opened from the other direction.  
  
"Oh, Abby, I'm sorry. Did I hit you?" Abby could tell Susan had been laughing but had stopped as soon as she came through the door.  
  
"Uh, no. Excuse me, I have to go." Abby said quickly and rushed from the room. She was already through the ambulance bay doors before Carter joined Susan in the lounge.  
  
"Oh, you just missed Abby. She was acting really strange though. I think I hit her with the door when I was coming into the lounge. I apologized, but she blew me off." Susan explained to Carter.  
  
"Hmm, I wonder what's wrong with her." John thought to himself, but aloud replied, "I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude."  
  
"So, you want to go get something to eat?" Susan asked, hopefully.  
  
"I am so sorry that I forgot to tell you. I promised Gamma I'd go visit her."  
  
"Oh, that's okay. Tomorrow is fine." Susan said, somewhat disappointed. Carter could sense her disappointment, but he couldn't let down his grandmother. He gave Susan a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the hospital. He made a quick stop at his apartment to change his shirt and grabbed a piece of fruit before jumping back in his car and driving to the large family estate. He rang the doorbell and was shortly let in. After putting up his coat, he started up the stairs to his grandmother's room.  
  
When he reached the top of the stairs and had gone down the hallway to the last door on the left, he quietly knocked on the large door before sticking his head in the room. Realizing that Gamma was sitting up in her bed, John entered the room and went over to her.  
  
"How are you feeling today Gamma?" John asked, giving her a kiss on the cheek and taking her hand.  
  
"Well, I must say I have felt better. I wish I were able to leave this God forsaken bed though."  
  
"Give it time. You've only been home for three days." Carter said patiently.  
  
"I know John, but I just feel so confined in this bed, and you know how I hate feeling tied down."  
  
"I know Gamma. You need rest though. Doctor's orders." John said and smiled.  
  
"Speaking of doctor's, I haven't received any more flowers from Dr. Lewis lately."  
  
"I told you she apologized. It was an honest mistake." Carter tried to explain much to the disapproving looks of his grandmother.  
  
"Are you two sleeping together?" Gamma asked after a moment.  
  
"Gamma!" John exclaimed.  
  
"Well I know it's the twenty-first century and things like that do happen."  
  
"Can we please not talk about this."  
  
"What ever happened to the other girl? The nurse?"  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"She seemed nice enough."  
  
"Yeah, well I kind of messed things up with that." Carter said, bowing his head.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I told her how I felt about her last summer, but she was in the middle of a relationship and she didn't respond and things just kind of fell apart."  
  
"Do you regret that you let her get away?"  
  
"In a way. On one hand, I think what does it matter, it would never have worked out, there are too many complications."  
  
"What's life without complications?" Gamma interrupted.  
  
"On the other hand, I do miss her. She was my best friend. She opened up to me about everything, but I got selfish and let that slip through my fingers. Then when I got another chance I told myself the damage had already been done and closed my ears to her." Carter said, not paying attention to what Gamma had said.  
  
"But what about Dr. Lewis?"  
  
"I don't know what to think. I had a crush on her a long time ago and I wanted those feelings to come back so badly that I've been making myself believe."  
  
"It sounds to me like you know what you want." Gamma said, knowingly.  
  
"If only it was that simple."  
  
"I'm sure if you tell Abby exactly what you just told me, she will understand. I want you to be happy John. And last year was the happiest I'd ever seen you. I know you may not believe me, but I think she brings that out in you. I saw you at your grandfather's funeral. I saw your smile. She brought that out in you, and I have to say I was beginning to miss it."  
  
"Gamma." John started to say.  
  
"Go to her John. Don't wait. Tell her how you feel and don't let her slip away again. Take the advice of an old woman and just do it." Gamma said and squeezed her grandson's hand.  
  
"Thank you." John whispered and leaned down to hug his grandmother.  
  
"Just go tell her." Gamma whispered back as she wrapped her arms around John. "I love you." Gamma said with a smile and sighed as she watched John leave.  
  
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Okay, sorry if this left things kind of undefined, but a lot more will happen in the second chapter. It's 12am and I really need sleep, which is why I'm cutting the story off now. The second chapter will have the song for the entire thing and the whole thing will make a whole lot more sense than it does now, I just really wanted to get the first part written and done before I continued. I hope you enjoy. As always, you can email me at incognito0686@yahoo.com or check out my website at http://www.geocities.com/incognito0686. 


	2. Part II

Okay, part two!! Thanks for all the positive feedback, I was so surprised to see all the reviews, I got all warm and fuzzy. :-D I'm not sure if there's going to be a part three, it depends on the responses from this part and how I feel after I finish this. I used to movie "When Harry Met Sally" because I think it pertains so much to Carter and Abby. I had a flub fic that was called "When Carter Met Abby," which I thought was gonna be cute, but then my computer crashed during the creation of it and when I posted it, it posted the wrong version and I was highly criticized. None of these characters belong to me, and neither do the ones in the movie. Keep reading. I hope you enjoy!  
  
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Abby wandered around for a couple of hours before going home. She needed a few things from the grocery store and decided to take care of that errand and while she was at it, decided to rent a movie to watch as well. She was in the mood for a comedy after her depressing day, so she rented "When Harry Met Sally." When she had finally carted her three bags of groceries to her front door, she noticed someone was already occupying the spot on her front step.  
  
"Abby." John said and started to stand up.  
  
"What do you want Carter?" Abby said, annoyed, as she tried to go around him to unlock her door.  
  
"I want to talk to you." Carter said and moved to avoid being hit by a swinging grocery bag.  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Well it's good to see you too."  
  
"John, I mean it. Please. I've had a crappy day." Abby said, finally getting the door open.  
  
"Here, let me help you with the bags." Carter said and tried to reach out to help Abby balance the bags. She took a step in the other direction and one of the bags slipped out of her hands. John reached over and picked it up.  
  
"When Harry Met Sally. Good movie. Meg Ryan has never really been my favorite actress, but I still love the movie." John commented after reading the label off the contents of the bag he had picked up.  
  
"Did you come here to annoy me?" Abby asked, snatching the movie away from Carter.  
  
"No, I really did come to talk to you." John said, stepping into the apartment.  
  
"Well, you're standing in my living room and you have my full attention. What do you want?"  
  
"I just came from my grandmother's house."  
  
"How is she doing?" Abby asked, softening a little.  
  
"She's impatient as hell, but I keep trying to tell her she should have thought about that before she decided to get in the car."  
  
"I'm sorry. I've been meaning to send her flowers or something."  
  
"It's actually a better idea if you don't. Susan sent her lilies and she got the wrong message."  
  
"Lilies? Don't those symbolize."  
  
"Death. Yes. It was an honest mistake. I tried to tell Gamma that."  
  
"Poor woman. Probably thinks Susan is out to get her." Abby said and brought the bags into the kitchen and started to unload them into their appropriate places.  
  
"I miss talking like this." Carter said after a moment of watching her in the kitchen from the other room.  
  
"Well now you have Susan to talk to." Abby said, continuing to put away groceries.  
  
"We broke up." Carter spoke after a few minutes of thinking about what he was going to say.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." Abby responded without enthusiasm.  
  
"The relationship was based of past feelings and it was just a matter of time before it fizzled out." Carter tried to explain.  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" Abby asked and rubbed her now aching forehead.  
  
"I want to be your friend again, Abby. I want things to go back to the way they used to be." John said, somewhat apologetically. Abby's reply, however, was an upset glare.  
  
"Why, Carter? So when you feel like hurting me again I'll feel better because it's already happened before?"  
  
"I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
"Well you did. Are you happy now? John Truman Carter hurt Abby Lockhart. No big deal, right? Abby doesn't care, Abby's stronger than that. It's been like that my entire life." Abby yelled, trying to hold back the tears that she couldn't let him see.  
  
"Abby." John started to say.  
  
"Please, John, please just leave." Abby pleaded.  
  
"Abby." Carter repeated.  
  
"Please." Abby said a final time. John gave a final sigh and turned and left the apartment. As Abby watched the door slam shut, she put her head in her hands and leaned her elbows against her kitchen counter and just sobbed.  
  
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Okay, I realize there wasn't a song in this story. I have decided that there will in fact be a third installation of this story. I have written a song and it will in fact be in the third and final chapter. Please review! Send comments to my email address or leave a message in my guestbook on my website. The third chapter should be up by either Wednesday night or Thursday morning, depending on how my rehearsals for the show I'm doing are going. I have practice every night until 8 pm and so it depends on how much homework I have how much time I use to work on my writing. I just found out that Stephen King writes six pages to what ever he's working on every single day, no matter what, and I think that's pretty cool. I am just trying to finish my little chapter things each night to post in the morning. Anyway, I'm babbling. I really do hope you're enjoying this story. As I said before, the third and final chapter should be up by Wednesday night or Thursday morning. 


	3. Part III

Okay, here's the third part. I was just kidding earlier when I said it was the final chapter. My sister fell in love with the story and told me I had to write more. Hope you enjoy. I posted the second part this morning so I hope you read it. The story in it's entirety will be posted on my website at some point today, minus my rambling. I hope you'll check it out because I'm adding something special to the version for the site. http://www.geocities.com/incognito0686. The song featured is called "I Look At You" and it was written by me. It pertains to the entire story as a whole, and not just this chapter, but this was the first time I actually had a good space to put it. Once again, I hope you enjoy the story.  
  
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The next two weeks went by extremely slow for Abby. She made herself busy at the hospital to compensate for the fact that she was lonely everywhere else. When she did go home, she couldn't sleep, and spent many nights switching channels on the television or trying to find anything else to do. One night she decided to clean her entire apartment. She was cleaning through her living room when she discovered a tape wedged between her TV and the space behind it. She pulled it out and realized it was "When Harry Met Sally."  
  
"God." She thought to herself. "I must've forgotten to take it back. Great, now I'll be paying late fees for the rest of my life."  
  
Having nothing else to do, however, she popped the tape into her VCR and started to watch the movie. By the time it got to the part where Harry confessed he was in love with Sally, Abby was bawling. She had never cried during this movie before, but somehow due to recent events in her life, it upset her this time. She looked at her watch and realized it was almost one o'clock in the morning. Her shift started at 8 the next morning so she went in and lay down on her bed, even if she wasn't going to sleep.  
  
As she lay there, she thought of Carter for the millionth time. He had been on her mind constantly for the past two weeks. He was the reason she hadn't been getting any sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face, staring down at her, begging for an explanation. She couldn't go on living like this. She swung her legs out of the bed and walked towards her kitchen. She started rummaging through cabinets and finally found what she was looking for. She grabbed the bottle and sat it on her kitchen table. She sat down in front of it and just looked at it. How could something no more than a piece of glass with a clear liquid in it be her biggest enemy?  
  
  
  
Carter had just gotten home at 12 from a twelve hour shift. He was physically exhausted, but he knew there was no way he could sleep. He kept seeing her face. Full of hurt, anger, and fear all at the same time. He nearly died every time he saw that image in his head. Why did he have to love her so much? It was bad enough he had had to explain to Susan that their relationship was never going to work. He sacrificed it for Abby.  
  
He crawled into his bed and was staring at the ceiling when his phone rang. He looked at his clock and realized it was almost 1:30. Wondering who it could possible be, he looked at the caller ID. Recognizing the number, he quickly answered the phone.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"John." As soon as she spoke, Carter knew there was something horribly wrong.  
  
"Abby, what's the matter?" He asked concerned.  
  
"I.I." Abby started to say, but couldn't finish.  
  
"I'll be right over." Carter said and rolled out of bed and started to pull clothes on.  
  
"Thank you." Abby softly whispered before hanging up the phone.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Carter was gently knocking on her door. After a few moments, the door slowly opened and Carter walked in. The first thing he noticed was how bad Abby looked. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. He looked around the apartment until his eyes fell on something sitting on the kitchen table.  
  
"Abby," Carter said cautiously. "Please don't let that be what I think it is."  
  
"I couldn't bring myself to do it." Abby said, ashamed, and hung her head. "I just sat and stared at the bottle. I couldn't stand it anymore and I just wanted it all to stop. But I couldn't bring myself to do it."  
  
After Abby got this out, she started to cry. She tried to turn away and hide from John before he could see her tears, but she was too weak and tired. She had her hand over mouth still trying to stifle her cries, but she just broke down.  
  
"Abby, don't torture yourself. It's okay to cry." John said, trying to comfort her. He tried to reach out to her, but she took a step out of his reach. He took another step closer to her and she couldn't resist any longer and before she knew it, she was wrapped in his arms and still sobbing. They stayed like that for almost ten minutes before Abby broke away.  
  
"I'm sorry to have called you so late. I know you must have been asleep. I held the phone trying to decide whether or not to do it and before I really knew what I was doing, you were answering the phone." Abby started rambling in attempts to ease the awkwardness of the situation. She went and sat down on her sofa and John came and sat down next to her.  
  
"I wasn't asleep. Besides, I don't want you to do anything you'll regret. I do care about you Abby, even if you don't want to believe anyone does." John said calmly. "And I don't feel sorry for you because of your so-called horrible life, or having to put up with your mother, or Richard, or even Luka for that matter. You need to do things for yourself, something that will make you happy."  
  
Carter said this and then started to stand up and walk towards the door.  
  
"Please don't go." Abby pleaded and turned towards Carter. "Just stay for a little while. Please."  
  
Carter couldn't look at her face and say no so he went and sat back down on the sofa.  
  
"Thank you, John." Abby whispered. Her eyes felt so heavy, and she had to shut them. She stretched out on the sofa and was soon asleep. Carter went into Abby's room and grabbed the quilt off of her bed. He brought it back into the living room and stretched it out over Abby's body.  
  
"Good night, Abby." John said softly. He watched her sleeping peacefully for a few minutes before slipping out the front door. When he reached his own apartment, it was 3:30 am and he groggily got into his own bed and for the first time in weeks, had a decent night's sleep.  
  
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When it seems like nothing's going my way  
  
And I don't know how to face another day  
  
You break into my thoughts and I have to say  
  
I look at you  
  
When times are tough and troubles fill the sky  
  
And I don't know how I'm gonna survive  
  
You break into my thoughts and I wonder why  
  
I look at you  
  
It seems so simple, just to say it like that  
  
Maybe if I keep telling myself it will make it a fact  
  
My friends say I'm crazy not to tell you how I feel  
  
But when I work up the courage, it never seems real  
  
I'm drowning in sorrow and I don't know how to get out  
  
But then I look at you  
  
Maybe someday you'll feel the same emotion  
  
When you open your eyes you'll see my devotion  
  
Until then, however, it will remain a secret  
  
Locked in my heart is where I'll keep it  
  
If I look into your eyes, I know that I'll tell  
  
They turn me to jelly and then I just melt  
  
These feelings are ones that I've never felt  
  
You break into my thoughts in my personal hell  
  
And I look at you  
  
So what should I do now, I've resorted to asking you  
  
I've tried everything else, but I still don't know what to do  
  
The hurting will stop if you just say it's not true  
  
You keep breaking into my thoughts and I don't know what to do.  
  
Please just make it stop.  
  
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Okay, there will be a fourth part, for all of you who were disappointed to see this chapter end. I will not say when the last chapter will be, because I am really getting into this series. I hope you enjoyed the song as well as the story. PLEASE REVIEW! 


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